


the aftermath is secondary

by orphan_account



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 07:49:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19662967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The layer of shame he feels, as if it's under his skin, unable to be washed away.(In which Gerard is haunted by his memories.)





	the aftermath is secondary

**Author's Note:**

> Heed the warning! I should also probably clarify I don't condone any sort of noncon/dubcon elements in real life situations. Also, incest.  
> This just came from a bad place, and I had to get it out of my system. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Unbeta'ed. Enjoy!

Gerard laid stock still on his side, on his soiled sheets. He could feel _everything_ and _nothing_ simultaneously. The semen spilling out of his used and loosened hole, the emptiness after Mikey pulled out ungracefully. The layer of shame he feels, as if it's under his skin, unable to be washed away. The warmth from his bed gone, instead replaced with _filth_ and _disgust_. He laid there, counting every time the digital dots flicker in and out of existence on his alarm clock. He still feels Mikey's hands, crawling over his legs, his torso, grazing his nipples, grabbing his hips, more often than not. Hands aching to touch, to map out Gerard's body. An unwarranted shiver trails up his spine, goosebumps making themselves visible. He still feels his scarlet hued hair being clenched in his own brother's hands, without a drop of care in the world. Gerard paws at his cheeks and isn't surprised to find trails of his tears, dried up ages ago.

Mikey left him alone after the fact, without so much as a farewell.

And Gerard isn't sure whether he should be grateful or angered by that.

Gerard has been staying still for the past couple hours. He's not been able to muster up the energy to get up, move, and clean himself up. So, he does what others would most likely do in this situation.

He sobs. Quiet, silent, but it wracks his entire body in ripples, like a stone being thrown into still water. He shakes, in anger, sadness, disappointment, shame, disgust. He's alone. He's _alone_. _No one_ will come for him. If his baby brother couldn't be trusted, who else? _Who else would he trust his well-being with? Would they take advantage of his vulnerability, as did his brother?_

Gerard covers his mouth, to lessen or cover up the fact that he’s crying, or because he's realized that _nothing, no one, will help him_ , only God knows. Hot, wet, blobs of tears flow freely from his eyes and he can't see clearly. His throat feels dry and raw, from his endless protests and pleas, when he lets out a broken sob. He curls up, like a fetus inside a mother's womb, craving warmth and comfort.

He can still feel Mikey's come spilling out of him. It disgusts him to no end. He feels used, taken. He'd told him no, stop, _I don't want this_ , so, so many times. His brother had only laughed that beautiful, sweet laugh of his, and called him horrible, _dirty_ nicknames Gerard didn't want to hear coming from his own brother's mouth directed towards him.

Several hours pass by. Gerard must have fallen asleep after bawling his eyes out. He tries to move, only to let out a groan. His muscles feel like dead weight, and gravity feels heavier, is pulling him down even further. _Everything hurts_. The come has long since dried up, creating a sickly feeling inside and outside his ass. He somberly thinks that, no matter how many showers or baths he'll take, it won't be enough to get rid of its stench, its stickiness.

Gerard breaks down again, right where he started off. His vision blurs, and he feels wetness. On his face. Inside his mouth. The way Mikey moves against his jaw, neck, his chest. His invading appendage creating trails of warm, sticky substance, like hot glue, on Gerard's body. It'll stick there, remain there, and permanently imprinted into Gerard's head a thousand times more. And Mikey, sweet, darling Mikey, knows it. He knows his brother best, after all. _They've been the best, the closest of friends, have they not?_

Gerard cries out whenever his scarlet locks are pulled, and that only encourages his brother even more. Mikey shoves his head down on the pillow, hand still maintaining that strong grip on his hair. Gerard can't see anything through his tears, and another broken sob spills out of him despite his efforts of refusing his brother _any_ satisfaction.

" _Remember when you said you looked hot as a chick, Gee? You wearing make up, the lipstick you’d put on… made your mouth so pretty. Such a pretty mouth, must be pretty good at sucking. Aren’t you a good sucker, Gee?_ "

This isn't funny. Stop it, Mikey. Let go of me.

" _Aw, don't be like that. You know, you look really nice in red. So pretty. I can't believe that I have you with me. I love you, you know,"_ Mikey babbles nonsense, and nuzzles up behind his neck, sniffing lightly at his hair. Gerard recoils, he stinks of booze and, God, _he’s fucking high_ and it invades Gerard's senses, filling him up from the inside, clawing at him, begging desperately for attention. " _I've always wanted you. I've always wanted to do this with you, don't you want this, too, Gee?"_

No, stop, I'd never want this with you. This is wrong, Mikey, stop it.

Mikey says nothing more, but the hard cock behind him is answer to Gerard enough. His panic is setting several blaring alarms in his head and he backs away from Mikey, as far as possible, but the _fucking hand_ in his hair and the _hellish_ grip on his hips are brutal. His efforts in _getting the fuck away_ only makes it worse. He feels the blunt of Mikey's head prodding at his entrance. _Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck--! No! Don't!_

Gerard feels pure, red hot pain flaring from his insides, and he screams. There's no lube. Mikey hadn't so much as shoved _a finger_ inside him. It’s raw, dry, and it tears Gerard apart in two. He wants to fucking _gag and retch._ It’s as if fire is eating him from the inside out. Gerard seems to go still, like the moment before a car crash happens, he feels his world stop and nothing moves. His breathing seems to halt, and that's as much peace as he can get before the torture resumes. Mikey moves, further splitting him apart inch by inch. He clenches in a desperate attempt to get rid of the dick inside him, but it _only_ sends Mikey the wrong message. He pushes in further, and _fuck_ , he's so fucking _deep_ inside him, it just barely grazes his prostate. Gerard cries, because he's thinking _no, fuck this, I hate it, fuck you,_ but a disgusting, fucked up voice in his head says _yesyesyesfuckyeahrightthere_ and it's making Gerard dizzy in shame, guilt, and pleasure.

Gerard bites at the pillow under him, absolutely reluctant in letting Mikey hearing him cry out in pain and pleasure. The push and pull of Mikey's cock head against the brim of his asshole serves to be a double-edged sword, as it makes Gerard spill blood, and acts as a grotesque replacement for lube. And that _fucking boggles_ Gerard's mind. He's bleeding. _He's bleeding, and his brother has done this to him._ He chokes on a muffled sob, throat crying out for rest, his body hot and he just wants to melt into a puddle, able to slip away from reality.

When Mikey starts to thrust in a brutal pace, that's when Gerard's mind goes haywire, short circuiting each time his prostate gets prodded at involuntarily. _It'snotsupposedtofeelthisgood_ , Gerard repeats to himself, but he knows that it's futile. The more blood he spills, the easier Mikey is able to move, and it wrecks Gerard even further because _fuck,_ the pain is slowly turning into a fucked up, _euphoric_ experience. His walls being violated just _so_ , in the only way his baby brother can. It doesn't compare to the numerous experiences Gerard has had with guys. That's probably a fucking red flag already. But, hey, what does Gerard know? He's being painfully torn apart by his own brother, and he thinks that it's supposed to be bad. In fact, it does him greater pain than no other. So, why the ever loving _fuck_ does it feel _so good_ when Mikey slams his cock inside him so nicely, so roughly, right where Gerard needs it? Right up against his sweet spot, making Gerard see white through all the red in his vision. It's like he's been hallucinating all the pain and violent acts that's been done against his body.

No, only this, _this_ matters. The pleasure. The fact that Mikey's been making him feel _so fucking good,_ making him see stars. Gerard's cock that's been half hard since Mikey pushed him down, starts to react towards the assault on his prostate. He groans as his cock is being pistoned into the mattress, splattering precome all over his sheets, as Mikey fucks him ruthlessly. He wants to come so, so fucking bad. But he doesn't have the balls to open up his mouth, and tell Mikey his deepest, darkest, _disgusting_ desires, in case his fucked up head decides to do something that can never be taken back. Instead, he resorts to releasing high pitched mewls into the pillow he's been shoved onto, holding onto it for dear life. Gerard can feel Mikey's cock aching and twitching inside him, feels it so vividly, pulsing against his walls. Mikey's about to fucking come inside him. Gerard knows that feeling all too well. He feels Mikey letting go of his hair, fucking finally. And when Mikey switches their positions, his cock slides out shamefully easily with a slick noise. It’s most likely Gerard's blood mixed with Mikey's precome, their bodily fluids mixing like a horrifying abstract painting. It should, _should_ , turn him off, make him run away and never look back, never contact his brother, but it's the exact fucking opposite because, fuck, he's _not in his right mind_ right now.

Mikey slides up against the headboard, and manhandles Gerard into the position he wants him to be in. Gerard recovers from the brief whiplash of moving so quickly and realizes the painfully obvious intent that Mikey has. He's sitting right on his lap, their cocks making brief contact. Gerard breathes out a curse at that. He can feel his hole twitching, from the forced entry, or in anticipation, God only fucking knows. Gerard just needs to come. Mikey looks at him with an emotion Gerard can’t put a finger on, and grabs onto his hips with brute force. Gerard’s sure he’ll leave marks, and he doesn’t know whether he should enjoy his brother _marking_ him like that or not.

There’s a niggling feeling inside him that says that _he probably should not_.

“ _Ride me, Gee. it's an easy job, isn't it, slut?_ "

Without a word of protest, he sinks down onto Mikey's cock, right up to the hilt. It feels _so fucking good_. He feels full and _sated_. Gerard supports his hands on Mikey's chest, his back arching in pleasure. His brother's cock inside him, sitting snugly right up against his prostate, feels absolutely heavenly. Gerard bites his lip until it bleeds. His eyes roll back in pleasure when he starts to move. _He's the one moving now. he's controlling how much pleasure he gets_. He tests the waters, bringing himself up and slamming back down. There's a loud resounding smack in turn. It sounds too slick, too wet in Gerard's ears. As he goes his own pace, Mikey starts to lose his patience and fucks up into his brother as he's on his way down.

Gerard lets out a fucking wanton moan at that. Mikey keeps pounding up into him again and again, _and again_ , until Gerard can't take it anymore. He comes with a loud cry, his brother's name on his lips, his vision whiting out. Mikey embraces his brother, and as Gerard's hole clenches sporadically as he comes, Mikey comes inside of him, _claiming_ him, _marking_ him, making him _his_.

" _God, Gee, I love you so fucking much,_ "

Gerard doesn't reply. He's too fucked out to even realize that Mikey's slipping himself out, leaving Gerard on his bed, only for Mikey to come back once again every time Gerard closes his eyes and dreams.


End file.
